Okay, I'm going to be a little blunt, so please forgive me, and especially if what I'm saying is off.
First of all, you just lost your mom. You are going to go through depression. It is going to be really hard. Her illness compounded things for you - didn't you say she got cancer while you were in college? That has a huge impact on... everything.
You are not a failure. You are bright, talented, compassionate. But you have been going through the hell of having to care for an ill parent, of shouldering a burden no one at your age, or even my age, expects.
I think it would be very important to have someone to talk with, to go see a counselor, after what you have gone through.
I also have a strong feeling about you not needing to be responsible for your dad. Even if he doesn't know how to take care of himself, he is an adult. He needs to learn. The fact that he relied so much on your mom, even when she was sick? I would hate to see you enabling that to continue. If it feels like a trap to you, like being stuck, then it likely is. You deserve to be your own person. So much of your life has been wrapped up in your mom's illness, in caring for your family. I long to see you be a bit selfish right now, learn who you are, what you love.
You are not, in an way, a failure. I cannot imagine facing what you have faced with near the poise and strength you have shown.
no subject
Okay, I'm going to be a little blunt, so please forgive me, and especially if what I'm saying is off.
First of all, you just lost your mom. You are going to go through depression. It is going to be really hard. Her illness compounded things for you - didn't you say she got cancer while you were in college? That has a huge impact on... everything.
You are not a failure. You are bright, talented, compassionate. But you have been going through the hell of having to care for an ill parent, of shouldering a burden no one at your age, or even my age, expects.
I think it would be very important to have someone to talk with, to go see a counselor, after what you have gone through.
I also have a strong feeling about you not needing to be responsible for your dad. Even if he doesn't know how to take care of himself, he is an adult. He needs to learn. The fact that he relied so much on your mom, even when she was sick? I would hate to see you enabling that to continue. If it feels like a trap to you, like being stuck, then it likely is. You deserve to be your own person. So much of your life has been wrapped up in your mom's illness, in caring for your family. I long to see you be a bit selfish right now, learn who you are, what you love.
You are not, in an way, a failure. I cannot imagine facing what you have faced with near the poise and strength you have shown.